My Real Life Pivots
And I couldn't be happier!
The Year I Stopped Proving My Worth
(2025!!)
There’s a particular kind of exhaustion that comes from investing in opportunities that don’t invest back in you.
Last time I taught at an international business school, I paid for my own lodging to teach overseas. I absorbed the cost without question, grateful for the platform, honored by the invitation. It felt like the price of entry. What you do when you’re building, when you’re “paying your dues,” when you’re just happy to be in the room.
This year, when the same opportunity came around, something had shifted in me. I asked to have lodging covered.
The answer was no.
Here’s what I didn’t do: I didn’t negotiate myself down. I didn’t make it work anyway. I didn’t twist myself into a smaller, more convenient version of myself that would fit their budget. I didn’t launch into all the reasons why I deserved it, building a case for my own value like I was on trial.
I simply paused.
The Pivot Point
That pause was everything. Because in that space, I realized something fundamental: I don’t have to keep proving my value to people who can’t see it.
Not won’t see it. Can’t see it. There’s a difference.
Some opportunities aren’t ready for the version of you that you’ve become. Some spaces can only hold who you used to be, you know, the person who said yes to everything, who absorbed costs, who made it work no matter what. And when you’ve outgrown that version of yourself, those spaces will feel too small, even if they once felt like a gift.
What Growth Actually Looks Like
We talk a lot about growth as expansion. Which means doing more, reaching further, adding credentials and opportunities and accomplishments. But sometimes growth looks like subtraction. Like pausing. Like asking for more and being completely okay if that means walking away.
Growth looks like:
Knowing your baseline requirements aren’t negotiable
Understanding that a “no” to your needs is information, not rejection
Being willing to create the space for opportunities that will meet you where you are
Trusting that closing one door makes room for better-aligned ones
The Real Question
The question isn’t “Am I worth it?” The question is: “Does this opportunity reflect the value I know I bring?”
When you’ve spent years building your expertise, when you’ve invested in your craft, when you’ve shown up with excellence again and again, you’re not being difficult by having standards. You’re being honest about what a genuine partnership looks like.
And here’s the uncomfortable truth: not everyone is ready to be your partner. Some people are still looking for the discounted version, the one who’s just grateful to be invited.
You are allowed to be past that season.
What Walking Away Teaches You
Choosing not to shrink myself to fit that opportunity taught me more than accepting it ever could have. It taught me:
My standards aren’t obstacles; they’re filters
Saying no creates space for better yeses
People who see your value don’t make you convince them of it
You can be grateful for what was without accepting less than you need
Walking away isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes it’s quiet. Sometimes it’s just a polite “This doesn’t work for me, but thank you” and then... stillness. The radical act of not filling that space with anything less than what you deserve.
The Invitation
So here’s my question for you: Where are you still making it work with people who can’t see what you bring? Where are you absorbing costs (financial, emotional, energetic), because you’re afraid that asking for more means you’re asking for too much?
What if asking for more is actually the most honest thing you could do?
What if the people who are meant to work with you, learn from you, collaborate with you? What if they’re waiting on the other side of your willingness to stop proving yourself?
You’ve already proven enough.
The next season isn’t about proof. It’s about partnership. It’s about people who don’t need convincing. It’s about opportunities that meet your standards instead of you constantly lowering them.
That’s the pivot. That’s the growth.
And it starts with being brave enough to pause.
What standards have you stopped negotiating? Hit reply—I’d love to hear your story.Because every elegant moment begins with a powerful pivot.
Warmly,
Wow. Awesome. Your newsletter is so inspiring.